Nano 2017 Lego Thing Party Twenty
Alex got to Beanland right when they opened the next day, making sure to secure his favorite table. He also switched it up with an iced mocha, just to keep things interesting.
He went to the counter to grab his drink. “I finally figured out why you like that table,” said Selena.
“Oh yeah?,” asked Alex.
“Yes. I mean, aside from you being weird. That table has a lot of terrible things about it. It’s slightly wobbly. One of the chairs doesn’t slide that well. And of course, it has no outlets…but everyone and their mother knows that you don’t care about outlets and like to talk constantly about the battery life of your laptop."
“When you put it like that it makes me sound a little strange.”
“But you’ve thought this through a little too much, haven’t you?,” asked Selena. “Most of the people that carry around their power adapters have very different personalities than you. They’re more outgoing. They’re more consumed by their work. You don’t think like that. And you don’t want people like that sitting next to you. Also, from there you can see everyone that comes in the door and ponder them, right? You like to do that because you’re a writer. And since that table isn’t that close to any of the other tables, no one will sit down next to you and ask you a bunch of questions.”
“I now feel like you might have put too much thought into this,” said Alex.
“I like to know my weird every day customers. I have to decide if you’re going to be a Barry or a Dave, and if you are, I need to kick you out before it gets to that level of bad. But you’re good. For now.”
“I think I should use this orb to do some cool things, if they’re not going to let me eat it,” said Frank Honey. “Like, maybe this orb of candy is how I’ll be able to travel through time! I understand how I could write this book which seems to tell me the future.” Frank held up the book with his other hand and waved it around.
“All of those are horrifying things to hear you say, Frank,” said Chase.
“Okay everyone,” said Natalia, “let’s go back to the Batcave and see how Batman is doing.”
“Suit yourself,” said Catwoman. “I’m off to blast various things with this gun.”
Before anyone could argue, Catwoman went sprinting away.
“I feel like that might go badly for us in the future,” said Robin.
“We have no time to lose,” said Ellie. “We’ve got to get all of these orbs together for some reason.”
Batman was pacing around in the cave when the rest of the adventurers arrived.
“Hey everyone,” said Batman. “I’m here with my ONE robot and the TWO orbs that I had before.”
“Uh,” said Natalia. “Didn’t you have four of the orbs? We were able to find Sauron and blast him, and we have the last orb now.”
“I tried to eat it because it’s candy!,” shouted Frank.
“Nope!,” said Batman. “I don’t remember there being four orbs, I remember—“
“I deduce that Bartman must have lost some of the orbs!,” said Lego Sherlock. “That would account for his pacing, and his over-obvious attempt to cover his tracks just now. Something must have gone terribly wrong.”
“Hey there, *I’m* the famous detective,” said Batman. “And if I say I definitely didn’t lose some of the orbs, then I definitely didn’t lose them. Oh hey! You have a blue orb. That looks a lot like one of the two that I lost.”
“Batman, I’m confused!,” shouted Robin.
“It doesn’t matter,” said Batman. “Where’s Catwoman?”
“I don’t know,” said Chase. “She mentioned she was going to go out there and blast people with a laser gun. It’s thanks to her that we defeated Sauron.”
“You let CATWOMAN have a laser gun?,” asked Batman, horrified. “But, she’s like, probably totally a villain that I definitely never went out with. I’ve got to get out there and find her! Was there any sign of my car out there?”
The rest of the group all looked at each other and blinked. “You know,” said Chase, “when Sauron showed up with that orb, I didn’t even think about the fact that he wasn’t actually in the Batmobile at all.”
A flash of light appeared in the Batcave, and Lego Galadriel appeared astride Ambrosias, followed by several Lego Vikings. “You might all think that you have achieved victory on this day, but you’ve only just begun. If my calculations are correct, there may be as many as fifty more Saurons out there running around, in need of…disposal.”
“And just who might you be, good lady riding upon a dog?,” asked Lego Sherlock.
“You’re Lady Galadriel!,” shouted Frank Honey. “Cool! This is like all of my favorite characters are coming together. It’s just like this weird book that I found in the library.”
“Your excitable friend is correct,” said Lego Galadriel. “I’m Lady Galadriel, and I’m the wisest, fairest, and most powerful of all the elves.”
“I think there are also some other powerful elves out there,” said Frank. “And I think—“
“I AM THE WISEST AND THE BEST!,” shouted Galadriel. Her visage briefly took on a more violent complexion, and the small plastic bats hanging all about the Batcave were startled out of their perches, and went flying around. “I am the one who assembled an army and came here to help you, and therefore I am the coolest of the elves. Anyone who thinks differently is incorrect and wrong.”
“I like your style elf lady,” said Lego Batman. “Okay then, what do we have to do?”
“Our job would be easier if you hadn’t lost two of the orbs,” said Galadriel. “But fortunately, your friends here have managed to recover the Orb of time. With that, we can make a bunch of copies of ourselves to seek out all of the different Saurons across the different universes and put a stop to them.”
“That sounds like an objectively bad idea,” said Natalia. “I don’t think there should be more than one Lego Batman, and—“
“I’m so in,” said Lego Batman. “I’ve always said that the only thing cooler than there being one of me would be if there were *Several* of me. Where do I sign up?”
“We have to be careful!,” said Galadriel. “If we recklessly use the orb of time, we might—“
Another portal opened in the Batcave. Fortunately it was very large. Evil Galadriel came through, and Lady Pirateblood and Capn’ Shootsword were behind her. “You might create evil copies of yourself,” said Evil Galadriel.
“Blast!,” said Lego Galadriel. “How did you find me so quickly?”
“We aren’t so different, you and I,” said Evil Galadriel. “I see you’ve obtained an army as well.”
“I’ve an army, yes,” said Galadriel. “But it looks like you’ve just got two pirates.”
“Perhaps it looks that way,” said Evil Galadriel. “But my pirates can do this!”
Lady Pirateblood and Capn’ Shootsword did a little dance together, and a bunch of Lego Pirate Skeletons rose up out of the ground.
“This is all SO COOL!,” shouted Frank Honey.
“Can someone please explain to Batman in simple terms what’s going on here?,” asked Batman. “Like, I know that we ALL KNOW that Batman is VERY smart and good. But just imagine that he wasn’t those things, and please tell him what’s going on. Like, for example, why are there two of these Elf ladies now?”
“I found some tiny cosmetic damage on a couple of my laptop keys,” typed Alex into his chat program. “It’s basically ruined now.”
“I feel like there are some questionable things about that statement,” typed his friend.
“Nope, it’s totally true. Now sure, I’ve owned this laptop for a year and a half, and I’ve typed pretty much nonstop on it for that whole time. And, apparently, this is a common problem with this model and the amount of damage I have means I’m very lucky. But this is still a terrible thing and it should probably derail my whole day and I should probably buy a new one.”
“I think you might be overreacting.”
“I’d rather overreact and walk myself back than under-react and miss something that I should have been reacting to,” typed Alex.
Selena walked to the center of the room. “Hey everyone, I’ve got an announcement to make about a new promo, and I want to spread it around word-of mouth style.”
Alex took off his headphones. It was rare that Selena said this much, so he knew it was about to be good.
“As this upcoming weekend is Thanksgiving,” began Selena, “that means the city is about to open their stupid temporary ice skating rink that they always pretend is a much bigger deal than it really is. None of the local merchants were invited to sponsor or participate in the rink, and it’s just a way for the city to take potential money out of our pockets by providing you with a place to expensively ice skate.
“Now then, the promo. If you publicly announce your intent to never attend the ice skating rink, I will give you a dollar off every thing you buy from me between now and the end of the year. All you have to do is state this out loud, and I’ll write your name on a list behind the counter.
“If we discover pictures of you skating on social media, or if you go back on your word, I will be adding an extra dollar to the price of every beverage that you buy between now and the end of the year. If you feel like you want to complain about this promotion, go ahead and leave my store now. I’m the owner of this place and I can do what I want. Thank you for your time. Please tell your friends!”
Alex immediately put his headphones down and headed straight for the counter. “Hello yes, I intend publicly to never go to the skating rink and I would like a dollar off future beverages please.”
“See everyone? You could be like Alex here and save a buck for the rest of the year, and all you have to do is not go skating,” said Selena.
“Are you going to write my name down?,” asked Alex.
She held up her notepad next to the register. It already had Alex’s name on it, and a few others. “Already put you down. Could tell you weren’t the skating type.”