Nano 2017 Lego Thing Part Ten
“I moved, your table back,” said Selena with a blink. “But I’m keeping my eyes on you. Catwoman is back…but she hasn’t done anything yet.”
“She will though!,” said Alex. “At least, I hope so.”
Selena raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t actually know,” said Alex. He suddenly became self-conscious that he was holding up the line, but then turned around and noticed that no one was behind him. “I don’t plan my stories out ahead of time, especially for NaNoWriMo. I just kind of write them.”
“That’s weird,” said Selena. “Seems like it could get messy.”
“Oh it does, and I often hate it,” said Alex. “But I can’t do it any other way, really. And before you say ‘well that’s what editor’s are for,’ I don’t really believe in them.”
“I wasn’t going to say that. I’ll get your drink at the end of the counter in a minute.”
“Oh hang on! I want to try the new swirly mocha.”
Selena surpassed a giggle. “What? Really? You’ve been coming here for two years, and you only ever order a mocha or a mocha with Peppermint slathered into it. Don’t tell me you’re falling for the same marketing tricks all these other rubes are falling for?”
“I…I’m falling for the same marketing tricks all these other rubes are falling for.”
“Well fine,” said Selena. “Now I get to charge you an extra dollar because I found a weird thing at Alice in Blenderland that lets me swirl whipped cream into the center of a mocha. You’re welcome!”
Alex sat down at his usual table. He enjoyed the taste of his Swirly Mocha, even though it was just a mocha with some extra whipped cream flavor inside. But it looked cool inside a transparent cup. Which Alex wasn’t using, since he got the hot version.
“Your story is getting really weird,” typed Alex’s fake internet friend. “There’s like this weird movie and Sauron is everywhere, and these multiple dimensions, and…I just don’t even know anymore.”
“I don’t either,” said Alex. “Let’s make it weirder.”
Long ago, in some ancient ethereal time, five great weapons of power were made by the five most powerful Lego Smiths. Into these weapons was placed the energy that binds the universe together. Should anyone ever manage to gather all of these weapons together, they could unleash that power and recreate the universe in any way they saw fit. So, in order to prevent this calamity, which could have been prevented by just *not* creating these weapons in the first place, the weapons were scattered across five different realms.
Lego was established as a toy brand in order to further cover up the great power hidden inside these weapons.
A woman ran up to Alex’s table, put down a sandwich and a drink on it, and shouted “I don’t want to take these into the bathroom!,” and then immediately ran into the bathroom.
Alex blinked. “Wh…what was that all about?,” he asked no one in particular. He looked at the woman’s sandwich and drink. “Well at least she’s made good choices.”
“Have you got a rope down there?,” asked the Wizard through the treasure chest.
“Uh…I think we could find one somewhere?,” said The Director. “What’s…what’s going on here?”
“I’m not entirely sure,” said the Wizard.
“Fair enough!,” said The Director.
Dave was officially losing it. “I told you the portals were real! For years I’ve been saying this, and yet no one would listen to me.”
Lisa finally spoke up. “Dave, I’m pretty sure you hadn’t said anything like that until about five minutes ago. I’ve worked on like three movies with you, and I don’t remember anything about portals. I do remember you insisting that you’d work for nothing less than three hot dogs a day, however.”
“That’s because hot dogs are objectively the best food!”
“You’re made of *plastic* Dave,” said Lisa. “You can’t actually eat anything!”
“I don’t let this kind of negative thinking ruin my day.”
The Director fashioned a rope out of old cables and the Wizard quickly slid down into the movie set. “Impressive!,” he shouted a little too loudly. “I had no idea that chest was so big inside!”
Sauron caught on quickly. He leapt down the rope as well and took stock of the situation. He was a little flustered at all the real humans running around. “Aha!,” he said, “A land of giants! Soon they will herald me as their king! You shall all be spared for freeing me from the pirate ship prison!” He quickly ran off out the emergency exit door.
The assistant director came over. “Maybe…maybe the studio is playing tricks on us? Sending us new actors?”
“I don’t know,” said the director. “I just want to get this stupid thing made and get on with my life."
Chase happily handed the robber off to some other police officers to take him in to the jail. The librarian scowled at him as she began to clean up the huge mess of bricks and books that were now on the floor. Frank Honey came bounding down with a big grin on his face.
“Wow!,” said Frank. “Some real police work? Was that guy a criminal? I had that thought because he kind of looked like one.”
“Yes he was!,” said Chase. “And now I finally feel like we did something!” He noticed that Frank was still clutching the weird history book. “Did you get to the relevant information yet about the clowns we are chasing, Frank?”
“No I did not!,” said Frank. “This book seems like it’s not really about anything at all. But on the plus side, it has words in it!”
“Y…yes it does. Hey, I’ve got an idea, let’s *stop* reading the weird book and go look for the clowns and the missing Catwoman!”
“But then I’ll never know how it ends,” said Frank. “And I can’t stop reading it until I know how it ends.”
“Okay, so just…skip to the ending then?,” said Chase.
The Wizard’s life of crime had finally come to an end. It was about time. Catwoman nailed him with her lasso, and he broke apart into his component bits. She quickly seized his Space Laser Gun, handed it over to the authorities, and eventually it ended up in our very own Lego City museum. No one really noticed that it glows every night. Curious!
Thank you for reading my book! I hope you enjoyed it. I mostly based it off of real things that I saw, but some of them were *made up!* When I was a kid, I thought that all books are real, but it turns out that they just have to contain whatever words you put in them and it doesn’t matter if they’re real or not. Isn’t that weird? Anyway, I’m hoping to write another book very soon. I wrote this as part of a contest where you have to write a book in one month. I didn’t really like doing it but I did it anyway and at the end I got a picture as a reward, and some people asked me to donate them some money!
Chase’s face changed to a look of shock. “Frank Honey? *You* wrote this book?”
“Wow, cool!,” said Frank. “I don’t remember ever writing a book, but it says my name right here and this is a book I’m holding, so I must have written it.”
“Well, now this just got interesting! Someone is pretending to be you in order to throw us off the case! We’ve got to go after Catwoman immediately.”
“Or maybe….maybe this book is from the future!,” shouted Frank.
One of the deputies who took the robber came running back in. “Sirs! We’ve heard reports of clowns with a laser gun down by the docks!”
“Let’s go, Frank!,” shouted Chase.
“Right! I’m going to steal this book from the library in case it tells us the future!,” said Frank.
“That’s completely impossible,” said Chase. “But okay!”
The librarian shook her fist at the two cops as they ran out of the building. “I will have my revenge!”
Robin made it back to the Batcave with the various parts of Batman and Sauron. He had no idea that Catwoman, Ellie, and Natalia were on his tale. He carefully reassembled Batman, following Batman’s “Official Guide to Fully and Awesomely Repairing Batman.”
Batman was almost immediately flipping around the room. After several flips, he paused to take stock of the situation. “Wait a minute, why am I in the Batcave? I remember that I was fighting some cool villains by smashing them and a building with my car.”
“Yes that’s right Batman! You crashed into the old Ace Chemicals building, and we took this weird-looking guy here back with us as a trophy.”
“You just wait Batman,” said Sauron. “I will have my revenge!” His parts started to glow. They floated up into the air, and came together and snapped back into position. “Haha! At long last!”
Batman glared angrily at Robin. “Robin, how could you? I specifically only wanted his *head* for my awesome trophy collection!”
“Oh, right…but I thought that seemed a little morbid!,” said Robin. “I don’t like morbid things, they aren’t fun!"
“But Robin, sometimes these evil guys are able to form back into their full selves, and then we have to fight them inside the Batcave, which is tough because it’s full of all my cool things and I have a hard time choosing *which* of my things to use to fight the guy.”
“I’m pretty sure you’ve never said that to me before this very moment,” said Robin.
Sauron was tapping his foot. “Are you two done yet? I’m trying to take over the universe, over here.”
“You are?,” said Batman, surprised. “So far you’re doing a terrible job. I mean, I crashed into you with my car and now you’re just standing here.”
“That may be true,” said Sauron. “But I’ve already got three of the world essences.” He whipped three glowing orbs out of his magical back pocket. “I only need to get the last two, and then I can remake the universe as I see fit, and—“
“Hah!,” said Batman. He threw a million batarangs at Sauron, and the orbs went flying out of his hand and fell through the grating on the floor into the deep recesses of the Batcave.
Sauron’s shoulders dropped. “I may have underestimated you.”
“You may have indeed! I’m Batman.”
“And I’m Robin!,” said Robin. “I don’t really look like a bird and I wear shorts so my legs can move better because I’m also a gymnast!”